Welcome to the Free Stuff Page!
I'm a struggling writer, so calm yourself if your heart is beating out of your chest at the thought of a free book. However, what I can offer you is nearly six minutes of free entertainment in the form of a spoken excerpt from the Sardinian Job performed by Lee Beddow at Abbeysound Recording Studios, an extremely talented voice actor who has narrated hundreds of audiobooks. Please be warned that it's a bit risqué and there's the odd swearword, so if you're of a sensitive nature it's probably better to scroll down, rather than risk having to write a strongly worded letter of complaint to Mary Whitehouse .
But wait, there's more!
When I turned 50, Sandra, my wife, presented me with a creative writing course at the Midland Arts Centre. For some reason, this new direction gave me the brainwave of trying to break into script writing, and I wrote the pilot episode of Tatlock's Marina—a situation comedy all about a working-class family who leave Birmingham for a new life running a boat yard on the Norfolk Broads. Imagine my delight when my mates on Facebook gave it rave reviews and said that I should send it off to someone involved in television!
Suddenly, my head was full of dreams about taking my skill as a smartarse to new levels, so I posted off my masterpiece to Martin Clunes along with two bars of chocolate in the hope that he might be at a loose end when Doc Martin ended. Luckily, he didn't take out an injunction and just two weeks later a nice lady called Evie wrote me a lovely letter to say thanks for the chocolate, but it's a 'NO' from us.
After this timely intervention, I decided that there was clearly more to scriptwriting than met the eye, so I began working on my first book, Negative Feedback. Now, five years later, I've sold several thousand books and had over five million pages read via Kindle Unlimited. So, thanks to Martin and Evie, I won through in the end!
However, if you would still like to read the script that might have turned Martin into a global superstar, please use the contact form below, and I will email you a PDF file for your amusement.